Within Temptation
by simply-rosali
Summary: Hermione Granger is a 26-year-old law student at Aberdeen University whose life will be turned around when someone from her past reappears in her life. NOTE: A reader suggested to put an OOC warning. Although it's fan fiction, I guess it's a fair request.
1. Chapter 1

**Within Temptation**

Chapter 1

_The child without a name grew up to be the hand  
>To watch you, to shield you, or kill on demand<em>

_.- The hand of sorrow by Within Temptation_

I am Hermione Granger, a 26-year-old law student at Aberdeen University, and glad to be one. Just for the record, I'm 26 and only two years into law-school because I've already finished Magical Relations in Birmingham Wizardring University.

The night when all this began, I was happily leaving my job at the restaurant with my weekly check in my bag to go to the apartment I shared with two girls (one muggle and one witch) a few blocks from University. It wasn't exactly in the nicest part of town, but I knew my way around, and in any case, I had –of course– mastered Aikido self-defense the previous year. And I also had my wand, even though it was my last resource. So I was pretty confident as I walked down the alley –a dark one, naturally– I took as a shortcut when I first felt the vibration in the air that magic usually made. I had lost practice in reaction time over the years, so before I could reach for my wand under my sleeve, all the air was knocked out of my chest when I hit the wall of the alley.

Fortunately, I am very resilient, so the hit didn't knock me out, but my vision became blurry so I just went all out with the first spell that came to mind: a stunning spell that in the blink of an eye came back to me, and I didn't have time to shield. A second before the world went dark; I recognized the dark hair and the sunken eyes: _Professor Snape?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Within Temptation**

Chapter 2

As the lights came back on in my world, I felt someone's breath on me and my instant reaction was to grab and twist whatever was closest. Unfortunately, he was faster than my sloppy reactions at the moment, and all I got hold of was a lock of black hair before my hand and head were slammed against the hard floor. In the matter of seconds, he snatched my bag and I heard a POP. It was over.

After I realized I only had a minor bleeder and no concussions, I headed home again; always holding on to the hairs I'd pulled out of his head. I know I should've been shaking, even in tears, after a mug like that, but I wasn't. I was angry –at myself– and confused. Those deep beetle eyes, even the greasy hair! I had to find out if it was really my long lost, presumed dead, professor or if I'd just imagined him in the middle of my remembrance.

Luckily, when I got home, Alexis and Lori were asleep already, and I had the living room all to myself so I could do the spell I had in mind. I grabbed a candle, a bowl, a couple of white oak leaves, my scrying crystal and fetched the hairs I'd pulled from my attacker. Using the _Homenum_ _Revelio_ spell, I wrapped the hairs with the oak leaves and set them on fire with the candle. A second later, as the leaves and the hair became ashes, an image took form before me, and I couldn't believe my eyes.

Immediately, I summoned a map of Aberdeen to the table, took the Amethyst crystal and sunk its tip in the ashes. I concentrated on the image of my old professor and placed the crystal above the map. It started undulating as I moved it over the city and swung madly as I got closer to Cornhill Hospital. A second later, the crystal locked on Berryden road, two blocks from the train tracks. I focused on the spot on the map and apparated.

The first thing I felt as I squeezed through space was a bouncing sensation that landed me on the street, on my bum. He certainly had this place well protected. With my senses heightened, I cast the spell to trace magical activity –strangely, the adrenaline rush felt good after so long– and it led me to the third floor of an old building –one of those that looks abandoned, of course–.

When I reached the apartment the spell had pointed me to, I was torn between blasting the door open or knocking on it. I decided on the latter and took a deep breath before knocking. Just in case, I had cast a silent repelling charm, and I did well. In the blink of an eye, the door open and a _Stupefy_ came through, which bounced right on to my attacker and he collapsed to the ground. Quickly, I cast _Incarcerus_, took his wand and levitated him to the couch before I _Rennervate_-ed him. His eyes flew open and they were wide with… fear?


	3. Chapter 3

**Within Temptation**

Chapter 3

―Professor Snape.

―You're that girl!

―Professor Snape, why did you attack me?

―Why do you keep calling me "Professor"?

I looked at him, baffled. ―Because you taught me only for seven years! I thought you'd at least remember me!

―What are you talking about? I'm not a professor, and my name is Alan. Look, just take your damn bag and let me loose!

I didn't understand what was going on. Why did Snape call himself Alan, and why didn't he remember me?

―Do you know who you are?

―I told you who I am, you stupid girl!

I narrowed my eyes at him and leaned forward, wand at hand. ―First of all, I'm anything but stupid. Second of all, I'm not a girl. And third of all, I wouldn't insult me, seeing how you're bound by my spell and I could make your binding much more uncomfortable! ―I threatened and tightened the ropes around him. He made a face but let out no sound.

At that moment, some sort of recognition passed through his eyes and he blinked, really looking at me. He frowned. ―Who are you? ―he whispered.

I sighed. ―My name is Hermione Granger. I went to Hogwarts, where you taught me Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

―I don't know anything of what you just said, but I've seen you before...

_The choice he'd made he could not comprehend  
>His blood a grim secret they had to commend<em>

I covered my face with my hands, not knowing what to do. I looked at him again. ―If I release you, you won't attack me… ―he nodded and I _Finite_ the spell. The ropes vanished, leaving angry marks on his arms. I readied myself for an attack, but he just sat, never taking his deep eyes off of me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Within Temptation**

Chapter 4

―Hermione, you said? ―I nodded and stood, looking around for my bag at a lack of anything to say.― You're a witch too, then.

―Yes, a muggle-born ―I said on purpose, attentive of any kind of response. There was none.

―I had a friend who was muggle-born.

―Lily ―I provided. His eyes opened wide and he locked his gaze on me.― How do you know that?

Fearing another spell, I cast another silent shielding spell, but nothing happened. ―I- I went to school with her son…

―She had a son? ―His eyes darkened― James'…

I nodded. ―Yes, he was in my year at school…

―Where you said I taught…

―Yes. Profe- Alan, what's the last thing you remember?

He looked away and then stood up. ―Would you like to sit down? Some tea?

Confused, I simply nodded and took the space he'd just vacated. As he fumbled with the water and the teapot, I remembered the last time I'd seen him: the battle of Hogwarts. And Harry said Nagini bit Snape and killed him. He gave Harry that last memory just before he passed. Then, how did he survive?

A moment later, he came back with a tray, a teapot and two cups. He served it and sat next to me. All this was surreal for me. ―When I woke up, I was in a filthy shack near Woodland's Wood, and my whole body hurt. I couldn't move for hours. I had no idea how I got there, but I heard the train at the distance. I apparated to where I heard the sound and managed to get here, to Aberdeen, using a _Confundus_ charm every time a controller came by.

―Wait, you remembered magic and Lily, but not who you are? And how did you do magic without a wand?

He shrugged and then stopped. ―How do you know I had no wand?

―You had the Elder wand in your power and Voldemort ―at this word Alan visibly shivered, but he seemed to be confused by his own reaction. I placed my hand above his and a warm feeling spread through me, I frowned at myself. ―He's gone.

―Who's gone?

―Lord Voldemort. Harry- Lily's son killed him.

He flinched at this and then shook his head, apparently deciding to deal with that later. ―When I got here, I was too weak to do anything, and I took food from a supermarket.

―With magic.

―Yes, wandless magic.

I nodded. _Alan is certainly as powerful as I remember him_, I surprised myself thinking of him as Alan and not Severus or Professor Snape. ―And how did you get hold of a wand?

He took his hand from under mine and looked away, and then into his cup. ―You don't want to know. ―I nodded.― I then tried to get a job, but I wasn't good at anything muggle-related, so I never lasted more than a few months in every job, and in the meantime, I… well, I did what I did to you.

My heart went out to him. Alone, without a memory. I still couldn't understand why he didn't remember his teen and adult years, because he sure remembered Lily, but I wasn't about to leave him like that.

―So, that's all you remember? ―He nodded.

―You say you know me? Then tell me. ―I exhaled. I had no idea how to approach this.― Please.

I nodded back. ―I met you when I started at Hogwarts…

I told him the whole story as if I'd hit _Play_ on a CD. Sometimes he looked scared, sometimes appalled. At moments, flashes of recognition or remembrance crossed his eyes. By the time I'd finished, he was close to tears and I threw my arms around him. He was so different than the Snape I knew that I hardly recognized him. I could only try to understand all the guilt and pain I saw written in his face…

_So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed  
>Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind<br>So many years have passed, who are the noble and the wise?  
>Will all our sins be justified?<em>

As I was absorbed in my own thoughts, I felt a bit tired, and dizzy. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head, and then looked at the time; it was barely past one in the morning, I shouldn't be this tired. Before the lights went out in my world, it all pieced together, I looked at my empty cup and then at Alan, I can't believe I was so stupid.


	5. Chapter 5

**Within Temptation**

Chapter 5

_He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life  
>He prayed for both but was denied<em>

When I woke up, I was in someone's bed, and the worst crossed my mind. However, as I did a mental check on my parts, the only pain I had was my still-throbbing head, so that was a relief.

―I'm so glad you're all right.

As soon as I heard his voice, so familiar and yet so foreign to me, I scrambled back till I hit the headboard of the bed. ―You bastard! I trusted you! I was even feeling sympathetic! And- Where are my things? My wand?

He raised his hands in a calming gesture. ―Be still, Hermione. ―He said, his tone resembling more the old Snape than this Alan.

―Answer me! ―I started and then I started to cast a silent, wandless curse at him.

―Don't even think about it!

―What? You _Legilimens_ me?

―Your _Occlumency_ is a bit rusty. ―He said, coming closer.

―It's hard to do _Occlumency_ while you're unconscious!

―You used to be able to do it in your sleep. Literally. ―He had a vial of some yellow liquid in his hand and closed the distance between him and the bed I was lying on.

I was taken aback for a moment. Did he remember something? But when I saw him closing in on me, I yelled. ―You stay right there! Drugging me and robbing me… ―Against his warning, I cast _Sectusempra_ on him, and found out he wasn't joking when he said I shouldn't even think about attacking him. His bouncing shield sent the curse right back at me in the blink of an eye.

And I didn't feel any pain.

_The curse of his powers tormented his life  
>Obeying the crown was a sinister price<br>His soul was tortured by love and by pain_

When I opened my eyes, I was covered in blood, but it wasn't my blood. Alan- Severus had jumped in front of my own bouncing curse and taken the hit for me.

―Alan! What did you do? Please be all right! I need a wand, now!


	6. Chapter 6

**Within Temptation**

Chapter 6

He didn't respond. I rummaged around in his clothes and after an everlasting minute, I finally found his wand and quickly cast healing charms all over him, hoping I hadn't done too much damage. As his wounds healed, he lay on my lap, unconscious. All I could do was stroke his hair and wait.

The light of dawn woke me, and Severus- Alan… –I don't know anymore!– still lay on my lap. My first reaction was to move away from him as fast as possible, but then I remembered the previous night and my breath was caught in my throat. He had remembered something while I was out, and afterwards he seemed a little like the professor I had hated and admired so. A moment later, he stirred.

―Severus! Are you all right? Please tell me you are!

Slowly, he sat up, his eyes fixed on me. ―You cursed me. ―he said, incredulous.

―You drugged me.

―You had me scared for hours.

―Why?

―I imagine that because of that head-bleed you got the other night, the potion was much more powerful than I expected.

I placed myself next to him and covered his hand with mine. ―You remember how to make potions?

His eyes darkened. ―I remember everything.

―That is great!

He stood suddenly. ―No! It's not! It wasn't casual that I forgot those years! ―then he lost his balance. I rushed to his side and steadied him with both my hands on his torso, only covered by the thin robe my curse had torn up.

―Please, take it easy, you lost a lot of blood.

He righted himself. ―Yes, you're right. I'll make a blood-replenishing potion, ―then he fixed his dark eyes on me tentatively― it was too painful, that's why I forgot everything. I had hurt too many people and done too many terrible things. I even killed Dumbledore for Merlin's sake!

I placed my hand on his cheek and shook my head. ―You only did that because he asked you to. He didn't really leave you a choice. And you saved Draco from becoming a murderer. ―I said softly.

―Still. ―Severus looked at me for a second and covered my hand with his, then he sat on the bed and I next to him.

―How did you survive Nagini's bite? ―I asked, probably ruining the moment but unable to contain my curiosity.

He let out a shallow laugh. ―I'm a Potions master. It wasn't that hard.

Instantly, I understood what he meant and laughed out loud. ―Of course! A poison-inhibitor potion! How come none of us thought of that?

He shrugged. ―I guess you had other things in your mind…

_So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed  
>Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind<br>So many years have passed, who are the noble and the wise?  
>Will all our sins be justified?<em>

I stared at him. This man… this broken, amazing man was so different and yet so much like the Snape I remembered. On the bed, I put my hand on top of his. ―I'm glad you're alive.

He looked at me and smiled, the first smile I'd seen in him since I'd got here. ―I'm glad you came and made me remember. Gave me a reason.

Without noticing it, I started to lean into him, and he didn't pull back. Before I could think of what I was doing or the implications all of this had, our lips met, and I felt something I'd never felt before: a deep sense of completion, a warmth that spread all over me, a feeling that this was where I belonged, with him. Who would've thought all the admiration and respect could turn into this… was this what love really felt like?


	7. Chapter 7

**Within Temptation**

Chapter 7

Our kiss deepened and our bodies slid to the bed. Severus… Severus Snape was kissing me, and so tenderly. His hand caressed my face and stroked my hair before it slid to my neck and down my back. All the nerves in my body screamed for him to never stop, for his lips to keep making beelines along my jaw and neck.

And suddenly, as if shocked by electricity, he stopped. He tried to pull away, but I wouldn't let him. ―Hermione, please. This isn't right.

―Why not?

―Because. You're my student. I'm twenty years older than you!

―Was your student. Almost ten years ago. And now I'm twenty-six. There's nothing wrong with this.

He managed to pull away gently. ―Please understand that it feels like yesterday to me. I only just remembered it.

I sat up and slid closer to him. Took his hand and placed it over my chest. ―Severus. Can you honestly say it doesn't this feel right to you? Can't you feel it here? ―I put my hand over his heart. He stopped.

―There's… too much water under the bridge.

―That water's already passed.

―Has it?

―Yes. And I want to be with you now.

―I- I can't. I have things to do. ―He said and looked away, out the window, lost in thought.

―Can't you do them later? Please? Let us enjoy this moment…

He turned to me and opened his mouth as to object, then closed it again and looked out the window again. There was something he had in mind, and I couldn't place it, and he wouldn't tell me. A moment later, he looked at me deeply and let out a breath, then sat next to me and cupped my face with his hand. ―You are so beautiful, Hermione. And so good. Your heart is kind and pure despite everything you've gone through. Mine is not.

I took his hand. ―So is yours, Severus. You just had too many tough decisions to make. You made mistakes and took right decisions too. You saved so many people with your actions. You are a good person.

His hand fell to his side. ―No, I'm not. You know everything I've done. No one forced me to join Lord Voldemort and kill and torture so many people.

―And yet, in the end, you chose love over hatred. That makes you an amazing person! ―I was to one to take his hands now, fearing I was losing him, and I pulled him to me.― Please. ―I said and kissed him, giving him my soul in that kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

**Within Temptation**

Chapter 8

Finally, he gave in and kissed me back, and I knew this was all him. No pain, no potion, no regret making him. Just… love, maybe love. That day his hands explored my whole body, and my hands took care of his body, caressed it, loved it like no one else had. We made love, and now I had no doubts about it.

―Severus…

―Hmmm?

―What now?

He flinched, taken aback. ―What do you mean?

―Do you want to be like this? Anonymous for the rest of your life?

He opened his mouth to speak, but had no words. ―I… what do you want?

―I want you to be happy.

―You've made me happy, Hermione.

I gazed at him, and smiled, then placed a light kiss on his lips. ―So you want to be with me?

He stood quiet for a long time and then stroked my hair. ―Yes. Definitely, ―he said, a smile in his voice.

―Me too. I never knew how lonely I was until now.

―Me either, Hermione, me either… ―he answered, his eyes set on me.

We slept for hours afterwards, and when I woke up, it was almost five in the afternoon, and I was hungry. I looked at him and he appeared to be resting peacefully after years, so I gently slipped out of bed to fix something. I stared for a while, happy, tranquil, and then I noticed he'd fallen asleep looking out the window. We hadn't gone to sleep like that. What was he thinking at the moment?

Shrugging, I went to the kitchen and found some ingredients to make a stew. I decided to make it old-school, muggle-way, so I could think about everything that had happened. Severus Snape was alive. He was with me. I never wanted him to leave. But what was bothering him so?

We had a wonderful lunch-dinner at his apartment, and talked mindless talk that lovers talked. Every time I brought up his past, or what he was thinking to do in the future, he would change the subject and I shrugged, thinking he just needed time to process it all.

That night we made love again and again, and I felt my world was whole for once. He loved me and I loved him. Nothing could go wrong now and neither of us would be alone or lonely again.

What awoke me that day was the cool coming from the open window, and nobody next to me to block the draft. I frowned, when did he leave? I turned around and found a beautifully decorated tray with pancakes and coffee. On the corner there was a single rose in a vase and an envelope propped on it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Within Temptation**

Chapter 9

It all came to me in a very painful second. All the avoiding of the subject; him deep in thought, looking out the window; the sadness that flashed across his eyes at times…

_He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life  
>He prayed for both but was denied<em>

I opened the letter, already knowing what I would find written in it:

My dearest Hermione,

First of all, I have to tell you that you were the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. I would've never imagined finding love, and even less in little Miss Know-it-all Hermione Granger. But I did, and I cherish every moment we spent together.

My only regret is that you were the one to find me and make me remember. You found a broken man and put me back together, but now I have to put back together all the lives I ruined and make amends with all those I hurt throughout the years.

My only hope now is that you will still love me when I come back. That I'll have the chance to alleviate the pain I'm causing you right now. That you'll give me that chance.

My love, know that I'll always be watching over you, and that I'll always look after you, even if you don't love me anymore.

I love you, now and forever.

Yours always,

Severus

_Please forgive me for the sorrow  
>For leaving you in fear<br>For the dreams we had to silence  
>That's all they'll ever be<br>Still I'll be the hand that serves you  
>Though you'll not see that it is me<em>

~~ The End ~~


End file.
